Movie Review: POTC Salazar's Revenge

My fiancé and I saw POTC: Salazar's Revenge on opening week, here his his /late/ review!

# Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales / Salazar's Revenge Before you watch this movie, you might want to unwatch or forget every previous known Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Just a thought. Continuity is literally thrown out of the window in this instalment which is just another swashbuckling adventure which sees Johnny Depp swagger around as Captain Jack Sparrow… only this time he's literally just drunk. And also, how old is he? Because Will Turners son is at least in his early 20s in this movie which would age Jack by 20 years in this movie. Forget that. I didn't say it. So Will Turners son Henry swears that he is going to break his fathers curse, and to do so he needs Jack Sparrow. Also, we have an astronomer named Carina Smyth (not gonna call it a lazy surname but…) who's following a map no man can read that she got from her father which she manages to read using the Ruby on it under a blood moon (but she doesn't believe in magic) Also from the middle of nowhere comes Salazar, a man never mentioned before by *anybody* who killed every pirate but Jack and his crew and were tricked into being cursed to basically be Davy Jones without barnacles. But wait. If he killed EVERY pirate, what about that pirate council of old pirates… where did they come from? Anyway. Forgetting all previous movies… so Salazar is released by Jack when he trades his compass for rum. I think it was rum. See, giving away the compass releases your worst nightmare or something like that. So the previous 5 times at least he's gave the compass away obviously had grave consequences which were resolved off screen. So Salazar is Jacks 5th worst nightmare. Salazar can't walk on land either. So they are looking for Poseidon's trident and they find it and destroy it and release all the curses and Barbosa dies and everybody lives happily ever after because this is a Disney movie. You can go see this for the fun scenes, of which there are a few. Or you could watch the first three movies and have almost the same story. 2/5, the only thing that stops it being 1/5 is the fact that it is a fun movie to watch, albeit frustrating at times.